Hold my hand

I talk a lot about how I'm so excited to graduate and move to Utah and start my internship and how thrilled I am that Ryan is starting at BYU and how wonderful everything is. And I am excited, and life is good, but to be honest, it's a little scary sometimes.

It's a little scary to go to church and not know anyone. It's kind of scary to stay home on the first day of school, to worry about having a job once the internship is over. None of it is terrifying, but it's unfamiliar, and that makes me a little uneasy.

This weekend, we spent a wonderful weekend with some of Ryan's mission friends and their wives at their mission president's house. We were finishing up a nice, relaxing break, but in the back of my mind, I was just worried about things. I have a gift for making little worries seem like the end of the world, and I was suppressing the urge to really let the stress of "What's going to happen next?" get to me.

It was like she was reading my mind. During scripture study, Sister Egan hit me with a simple statement:

"At some point, we're all like Adam and Eve walking into our own personal wilderness. And just like them, we hold hands and move forward."

What Ryan and I are doing isn't new. Through the ages, millions of men and women have shared my fears. It seems to me that those who lean on each other usually turn out all right. Better than all right.

Ryan and I aren't sure who initiated our first hand hold. I guess it doesn't really matter, as long as we keep holding on tight.
*wedding day pic by Camille

Thanks for the help

Remember back when I found that ridiculous button on the new my.byui? I found another reason to love the information technology communications at BYU-Idaho:

Here's a closeup of the best part:

I'm glad they notified me that the e-mail wasn't working. Via e-mail. :)

The Reason

In my Fiction Writing class last week, we studied six-word stories and how fabulous they are when done right. Example from Hemingway: "For sale: baby shoes, never worn." They tell the whole story in very few words.

Last night, Ryan and I read the New Testament account of the Resurrection morning. It's a beautiful story. Maybe because of my class, I noticed this time that the heart of the story was contained in seven simple words.

While the Easter story is the furthest thing from fiction in the world, I think this seven-word non-fiction by Luke is infinitely more fabulous than six-word fiction from Hemingway:

"He is not here, but is risen."

Never have a more beautiful seven words been written! The Savior died for us, and because He was risen, He lives again for us.

Happy, happy Easter.

Life's funny.

Sometimes it plays little tricks on you. Like when you think you're all grown up and you realize you're not. Or when you think you're not grown up and you realize you are.

That happened to me this morning. In case you didn't know, Ryan and I are bunking at my mom and dad's for a couple weeks because we had to be out of our apartment but, you know, have to go to class for another week.

Today we watched conference and I momentarily reverted back to my childhood — I ate potato chips and played MarioKart. Both were delicious. I thought I was getting another shot at being at little girl in my parents' house.

Then we helped my dad move things into my room. They've been painting and recarpeting and giving the whole house a little makeover (I'd post pictures, but my camera cord is waiting for us in Provo, along with 98 percent of our belongings). My room is now bright yellow with thicker carpet and looks so much nicer than the beige/beige combination I had growing up.

Suddenly, I wished I had painted my bedroom when I lived at home and still had walls I could paint. Mom kept asking me to, but I never did, mostly because it wasn't that important to me. Today, I looked at the back of a decoration I'd had on my wall for years and realized that I could have easily made more of them. I could have painted and made decorations and made my bed and made the whole thing really beautiful.

Oh, how I wish I had a wall I could paint now!

I guess it's one of those little tricks life plays on you. I started out this morning thinking I was a little kid. But I'm realizing that the desire to make a beautiful home and paint and decorate and CREATE has been in me all along. I just never nurtured it — until now.

Which (I think) means I'm
growing up.

Happiest Place on Earth

One week from today, I will officially be a college grad.

Thank you, thank you. * bow *

You might be thinking to yourself, "Bre, you've graduated from college. What are you gonna do next?!"

Answer: "I'm going to Disneyland!"

Seriously. We are. Even though I've been (cough, cough, ahem) lots of times, Ryan has never been. He insists he has, but he was 1, so he doesn't remember and that doesn't count. We're really excited to get out of Idaho and get a little sun in the golden state. And, we'll get to see Ryan's sister Camille. And, best of all right now, it gives us something to look forward to during finals.

Couldn't be happier.