Sunday, February 7, 2010

Vowels

I've decided every mispronunciation and "hard word" in the English language can be traced back to one part of out lovely English language — vowels. Two epiphanies led to this realization:

1. Our last name is exactly half vowels and half consonants (count: Olaveson).
2. No one can say our name.

If I had a nickel for every time I heard, "What is it? Oh-lay-vuh-son? Oh-love-son? Ah-lay-vuh-son? Lav-en-der?" (Yes, someone really said that) we'd be eating at Applebee's every night. I think everyone likes hard and fast rules, like the sound for "r." They always know what sound it's going to make. People are so crazy about "r" that they toss it haphazardly into our name all the time. "Oh-law-ver-son?"

I learned in my New Testament class that the Hebrews (or Greeks, or someone like that) didn't use vowels, and that's why we're not really sure about what some Bible names are. For example, we call the Old Testament Christ "Jehovah," but all it really translated to was "JHVH," so it's more of a best-guess sort of thing.

I think the Hebrews had it right. Just call me BRNN LVSN from now on.

(Oh, and for the record, you say our name "Oh-LAW-veh-son.")

4 comments:

Lylene said...

Funny post. I'm just glad I grew up in Annis. I already knew how to say Olaveson.

courtney said...

yes! i feel your pain. buer. it's BUE-ER. not bauer. not booer. not byur. so funny!

ps - i lost your email and couldn't send you a blog invite...i'll see if i can track it down!

Jenn J. said...

Two favorites. Lavendar (obviously) and Ola-ver-son. You're totally right, people really shouldn't just go around tossing r's in things willy-nilly. Well, except in the case of Olaverson, because that's just plain funny.

Kenblog said...

Dat wurz reary furney.